Thursday, November 11, 2010

Diagramming Sarah

Sometimes I feel like listening to Sarah Palin is like playing AdLib... or those magnet word games.  Just throw her catch words and phrases into a hat, pull them out in random order, add some conjunctions and prepositions... VOILA!  You can now sound just like Sarah!!

For example...

I am qualified for this job because I'm patriotic. I got a college education at America and I majored in flags. I consider myself very great because I'm a patriot. I'll be working to support absolute rulings. I'm looking for a job that pays between one and one billion dollars a year.
I have experience using good freedoms and a constitution. I have a real patriotic attitude that makes me good for freedom. I think these, among many other qualifications, make me the most patriotic candidate for this job.
But seriously, to those of us who actually appreciate the English language, isn't listening to Sarah speak similar to listening to a third grader practicing their recorder?  It is so PAINFUL for our ears!!

Remember in English classes, when we had to diagram sentences?  Diagramming Sarah would be a whole new level of hell.  Of course, someone has tried to do just that...
"The more the diagram is forced to wander around the page, loop back on itself, and generally stretch its capabilities, the more it reveals that the mind that created the sentence is either a richly educated one—with a Proustian grasp of language that pushes the limits of expression—or such an impoverished one that it can produce only hot air, baloney, and twaddle."
Guess which category I think Sarah falls under...

1 comment:

Cosmic Navel Lint said...

Whilst I appreciate - and agree with - your post, I'd just pass on the news that there is no verb 'to diagram'.