Monday, February 11, 2008

CDC Warning: New STD

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a virulent new strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and is pronounced "gonna re-elect him."

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
  • anti-social personality disorders,
  • delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
  • extreme cognitive dissonance,
  • inability to incorporate new information,
  • pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,
  • inability to accept responsibility for one's own actions,
  • cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
  • uncontrolled facial smirking,
  • ignorance of geography and history,
  • tendencies towards evangelical theocracy,
  • and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

To increase your own immunity to this disease, go here.

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