CDC Warning: New STD

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a virulent new strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and is pronounced "gonna re-elect him."

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:

• anti-social personality disorders,
• delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
• extreme cognitive dissonance,
• inability to incorporate new information,
• pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,
• inability to accept responsibility for one's own actions,
• cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
• uncontrolled facial smirking,
• ignorance of geography and history,
• tendencies towards evangelical theocracy,
• and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

To increase your own immunity to this disease, go here.