Monday, March 06, 2006

Witnessing the pain...

I belong to a chat group consisting of people who have loved ones in the same branch of service as my brother was. I joined it for the fellowship, support, and to honor my brother. In addition, I feel as if I am able to share a part of my brother's life and loves and experiences through this group, by hearing about his "brothers" in the service and their families.

I also belong to another group made up of other people whose loved ones were in the service. This group also provides fellowship and support for me.

The big difference between the two groups is that members of the first group have LIVING loved ones in the service. The members of the second group are MOURNING their loved ones.

It's heartbreaking to hear the stories of BOTH groups... the moms who are afraid of losing their sons and the moms who HAVE lost their sons. Both groups have trouble sleeping. Both groups talk about crying and not being able to stop.

I don't talk about my political feelings in the first group. Most, almost all, are fiercly resistant to any criticism of the administration. I sometimes wonder if that is what they have to believe in order to stay somewhat sane.

The second group was created because they no longer can pretend the administration cares about them or their loved ones.

Right now, the first group is going through another deployment. For some, this is the second, third, or fourth time. Their pain and fear is immeasurable. They focus on care packages, phone cards, and letters. They share their pain, their love, their fears.

The second group is going through anniversaries of their loved one's death... the first anniversary, the second anniversary, and so on. Their pain is heartbreaking. Especially with the knowledge that not all deaths were during deployment, but some deaths are related to PSTDs after they've come home. They also share their pain, their love, and their fears.

These groups have so much in common, but so much divides them. They have immense love and immense pain. But one group must believe in the "cause" and the other group has paid the price for that blind belief.

One group fears that their loved ones will be killed; the other group fears that another mother will experience excruciating pain when their loved one IS killed.

I so wish this war was over and the rest of our loved ones could come home. Some will never come home again... and when I am with the group who is sending their boys off on deployment, I wonder... who will be joining me in the other group someday? Whose fear today will become tomorrow's reality?

Please pray for them all...

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